Because I can...

I am writing a blog. Because I am smart and am able to write a blog :)

There once was a year...

...called 2010. I lived through this year. It just happened to be the year that just passed. I now feel like writing some massive note about it. Because I can. So I can, and will. Therefore, I'm writing this right now. So ner :P

So. 2010. Who liked it? Yes? No? I can tell you... I didn't mind it. It was random. I've made some new friends, lost some old ones, am probably now hated by more people then ever, but I'm pretty sure I've got some good friends too. Hopefully...

Honestly. I don't know why I'm writing this. I think it was largely prompted by the fact that it was my last day at Wonthaggi today. For the second time.

Go figure.

My traineeship came to an unofficial end today. It was my last day with the kids at the school, and probably the last time I'll see most of them. It's a weird feeling really... I've put so much effort into helping some students this year, and I'm going to see nothing for it. It's kinda disorienting. That, and the fact that I'm finishing high school. I'm leaving WSC. For the second time. In 2 years. How many people can say they've done that? That alone is a weird feeling. Let's just say I'm feeling a bit weird at the moment. And I'm annoyed that I've met some awesome people through that traineeship... and now I have no clue whether I'll see any of them ever again.

Besides that. That other side of my live, the youth side, it's been quite awesome this year. I've been so busy outside of school. Youth, Junior Youth, Small group, Somers, CYC... ect ect. You get the drift. Edge youth this year. It has grown, amazingly. To see it become what it has, and to help be a part of that growth, it's been one of the most rewarding and enjoyable experiences of my life. Everyone who has been involved in it over the past couple of years, I just want you to know that you've all been an inspiration to me, and without you I wouldn't be who I am today. You know who you are, and I thank you for everything you've done.

Unexpected thank you's... I like where this is going. Anyway, besides the awesomeness of Edge youth this year, some of you may know that I've been quite heavily involved in at Cranbourne Uniting Church this year, with their youth stuff too. Being there this year has been awesome, and in doing so I've made some awesome friends, and become really close to people I've known for years. Being there this year has been amazing... and I want it to continue. I love that place, I really do.

Anyway... we're done with the youth side of things. Almost. There's just a couple of small things I'm yet to mention. One of those small things is a nice little organisation which runs awesome camps. It goes by the name of CYC, and is responsible for one of the awesomest camps ever, called Impact. As of spring this year, I came to the realisation that I'd been leading at Impact for 2 years now. Those 2 years have gone quick. But, in those 2 years, I've lead on 8 camps there, soon to be 9 this summer, and I have to say, it's a lifechanging place. I've met some amazing  people there, and the amount of personal growth I've achieved through Impact is unbelievable. Seeing some of the kids who have gone there for the time I've been there, seeing them grow over those two years. It's so rewarding to see.

And then there's Somers. Need I say more?

The one place that has truly influenced my life more than any other. It's guided me to who I am today, it's probably the reason why I'm doing everything I do with my life. Leading there this year, it challenged me. I stepped up to roles I haven't touched before, I pushed myself. And I felt like I succeeded. This year was one of my favourite years so far, and personally, the most rewarding year yet. I look forward to seeing what happens in the future.

So yeah, that's basically what I've been up to this year. Kinda. There's also that small matter of sport. Being able to play basketball again this year was like, awesome, despite the fact that the stupid Cowes basketball courts absolutely killed my shins.  I love the sport though. Volleyball, on the other hand... to think I nearly didn't play this season. I've come from a dodgy B-Grade player this year, to someone who can kinda play a half decent game. I've come to love the sport, and it's been pretty important to me. I wanna keep playing. So yeah, hopefully I can :)

And that should be the end of these ramblings. Please, feel free to comment, complain, criticise, or ignore completely. I don't mind.

Well, I do. I'd like comments.
But hey, as if most of you are going to post any. 

Either way. Goodnight, and goodbye.

So over it...

So... I'm about 95% sure I'm about to give up all hopes of ever succeeding with anyone from the female race. Any thoughts people?

Searching...

Sometimes... it feels like I'm just pointlessly searching.
Looking for what I want.
And all I find is nothing.

The cuteness...

As I write this, I'm lying on the couch at my friends house.
On my laptop.
Doing nothing
...and procrastinating about going to sleep.

We all do it.

But, you see, I'm the only one in the house.
Well, me, my friend, and his girlfriend.
And they are both currently in his room, with the door open, and they're speaking very loudly...
Meaning I have no choice but to listen to everything they say.

I have to say... the cuteness of it all makes me want to chuck.
They get along so well, and it's all so lovey dovey.
In saying that, I'm not angry. I'm not annoyed...
...well, I kinda am.

Why am I annoyed?
Is it because they're keeping me awake?
Is it because I've been ignored completely?
Is it because they started talking about peeing?

No.

It's purely because I'm so completely and utterly jealous.
Being exposed to something you want so much for 3 days straight...
and then hearing it go on for an hour straight...
It gets to me.
Being so over singleness... wanting to find someone so much.
And failing at it all the time. It annoys me.


I just want to find that one person...

It's crushing down...

Why do I feel like I'm under so much pressure?
No matter what I do, I just feel like I'm about to crack.
I'm over it. I'm over what I do, and I just want it to change.
Constantly feeling tired, frustrated, angry...
And for no reason at all.

I'm not used to wanting to hit something,
wanting to break the closest thing to me.
I don't know why I feel like this, but I want it to end.
It's not who I am, it's not who I want to be...
But it's who I'm becoming.

I want it to stop.

Just to fill this up more...

I feel like writing stuff. So here it goes...

Once upon a time, there was a little fairy.
It was pink, and had pretty little wings.
It also glowed, and it glowed a bright blue.

This little fairy was the only bright thing in a dark, dark world.
There was little light.
No one was happy.
And all the trees had no leaves.

The bright pink fairy decided one day, to make everything happy and colourful again.
So, one by one, it went around to all the people in the world.
It showed them colour.
Showed them light.
And made them happy again.
Until, one by one, it had gone around to all the people in the world.

Doing this made the fairy very happy.
It also started to bring colour and light into the world again.
No longer was the fairy the only thing that glowed in the world.
Trees started growing leaves.
The sun started to shine.
And people started smiling.

Over time, the world became a happy place again.
There was colour everywhere.
There was always life, and light.
It was a wonderful place to live.
And it was all because the little fairy showed others kindness.

The end :)

Based on a random dream...

I was standing there, in the night, in the middle of a street, surrounded by cars. To my right, there was a hill, covered in cars. Why there were cars there, I'm not sure, but there were cars everywhere. To my left, was the ocean, just past the railing that was on the side of the road. All the car lights were on. I was walking along, when I saw them. Two guys, taller than me, more muscular, and I had to chase them. I don't know why, but I felt they had something important to me, that they had taken something from me. So I chased them. I ran down the street after them, past all the cars. There were no people around, just me, and those two men. They ran up the hill, and I followed them, towards the city at the top of the hill.

I ran into the concrete jungle, and saw the streets deserted. Again, the lights were on everywhere. The skyscrapers were lit up, neon street signs were glowing, and the cars. They just sat there, doing nothing. Then, a black 4WD came zooming passed, and I chased after it. I was running along, jumping over cars, around fallen street signs, somehow keeping up with the black car. I knew they were in it, so I had to keep up with it. I kept running, and I came close. I jumped onto a car, then off that car, onto the back of the 4WD. I held on, and climbed around the side. Gripping the rails on the roof, I swung around and tried to kick one of the guys, except he grabbed my feet and pushed me out, causing me to fall. I rolled on the ground, using the momentum to spring me back up, and I continued the chase. They drove down an alleyway, and I jumped over fallen debris, ran up the sides of walls, jumped fences, all to keep up with them. They turned back onto a main road, and I caught up to them again, and jumped on the back of the car. They then took a sharp corner, and flung me off, driving off down the side road. I was knocked out

Gingerly, I got up after what seemed like days. I looked around, and it was still night time. Whether or not it was the same night, I'm not sure. I got up, and followed the tire marks of the car, sprinting around the city. As I was running, I turned a corner, and saw someone running into a building with a black 4WD out the front. I recognised the car, so I quickly ran, curious to know who that person was. I entered the building, into a lobby type area. The lights were out, and I could only see the faint glow of a light coming from the staircase. I followed the staircase up, wanting to get closer to the light. At every level, there were corridors leading off at a landing, but at each level there was no light. Finally, after climbing the staircase for what seemed like hours, I reached the light. I followed the corridor, until I got to a door, which was slightly opened. I walked in, and was shocked at what I saw.

I was faced with an open, lit up room. There was a door at the other end of it, and a staircase to the left hand side. To the right, there was a glass window, instead of a wall. Various trees in potplants were placed around the room, and the floor was made up of white tiles. On the other side of the room, just in front of the door, stood one of the men. He was tall, with short brown hair, and slightly tanned skin. He was pretty muscular, and he looked strong. He was wearing a white shirt, and jeans. On the floor in front of me, however, was the other man, and my best friend. They were locked in a fight, one in which my friend was losing. They had each other grappled, my friend having his face covered in bruises. Soon, he was tossed to the side of the room, where he lay. I was angry.

Straight away, I lunged at the guy. The other guy just stood back, doing nothing. I tacked the first guy to the ground, and started to lay into his face. He soon pushed me off him, and I rolled backwards. We both stood up, and started circling each other. At that moment, the lights in the room died, and the only light came from the buildings outside. Inside the dimly lit room, we continued to circle, until he lunged at me. I dodged to the side, and pushed him on his way through. He ran straight into the wall, and I used this opportunity to try and kick him. He managed to duck, however, and I was knocked off balance. He then grabbed me, and started slamming me against the wall. He then threw me on the floor, where I slowly got back up. My head hurt, and my back and arms were covered in cuts and bruises. However, I lunged at him again, and managed to grab him around the waist. I pushed him, and managed to push him against the railing of the staircase. He tried to punch my head at that moment, and I ducked back, waiting until he lost balance. He tried to punch again, and I dodged, grabbing his arm on the way through. Using his momentum, I pushed him over the staircase, and he rolled down to the lower levels. I collapsed to the floor, exhausted.

However, I looked up to see the other guy walking towards me. I quickly got up, and jumped backwards onto the wall, as he was charging at me. I managed to jump over his head, and he ran straight into the wall behind me. But he just turned around and continued to charge. I kept jumping out of the way, looking for a way to retaliate. But I knew none. I just had to keep dodging, ducking, trying to avoid his charges. I wasn't able to keep it up though. He soon grabbed me around the waist, and started to squeeze me. I couldn't breathe. He was literally squeezing the life out of me. I thought I was gone, when all of a sudden he let go of me. I fell to the ground, and he stood over the top of me. I jumped at him, and he just stood to the side, and laughed. I yelled at him "Why are you laughing? What have you taken from me? Why are you doing this to me?" He just stood there, laughing. Then, my friend stirred over in the corner. He was regaining consciousness, and as he sat up, he called to me, "Michael! It's her! They've taken her!" Upon hearing this, I was shattered. My heart sank, and I fell to my knees. He just stood there, laughing. At that moment I filled up with rage, and jumped at him, and pushed him. He was surprised, and fell backwards. He fell back, and lost his balance, and fell through the window. The glass shattered, and fell to the city streets, along with the guy. I just fell to my knees, lost in my mind. I didn't know what to do...

Before we begin...

I'm still learning the ropes here, so at this stage I'm just going to spam some previous stuff I've done. But yeah... check it out?